The crippling effect of fear (and squirrels).

Fear is always present, if we let it be. 

It can overshadow our thoughts and our actions, paralyze us from making decisions. Even if we move forward, one step at a time, it hovers, whispering in our ear. (Until we kick it to the curb, that is!)

photo credit

No one will like you.

You’ll mess up.

That shirt you thought was cool, the one with the orange ruffles and sequins, is completely dorky.

Everyone is secretly laughing at you behind your back.

The squirrels in the basement are out to get you.

This list goes on.

My son entered middle school. Before the first day, he felt overwhelmed with fears, from giant ones to small ones. What if he can’t open his locker? What? He has a locker for gym too? What if he can’t remember two locker combinations? Does he have to change for gym? What if he gets lost on the way to science class? What if he fails math? How will he know what bus to get on at the end of the day?

And these are just the fears he’d talk about.

I’m sure there were secret fears too, lurking in the back of the mind. Fears about his clothing, peer pressure, popularity. All the stuff that maybe felt too private to talk about even with his mom. (Until I bribe him with ice cream and puppies!)

Most of his worries can be traced back to inexperience. After the first day, he admitted he didn’t need to worry half as much as he did.

Same goes with most things.

I fear the basement. (A very sensitive topic for me.)

Red squirrels party in my basement, waiting for me. They run along the pipes purposefully to create noise that strike terror in my heart. They see me sweat, shake, shriek and then sprint back up the stairs while they have a good chuckle and continue to tear into any crinkly paper they can find and store their nuts.

I know that fear is unrealistic. Really, I know. But I still send my kids down to the freezer to get the bag of frozen peas.

Anything in life can potentially cause fear. New jobs. New business. Writing. Publishing. Relationships.

Fear is normal, but we can’t let it control our decisions. Better to fail a hundred times than never try!

What’s your fear? Have you moved forward despite your fears?  (I'm still working on going to down to the basement by myself.)

Laura Pauling writes about spies, murder and mystery. A Spy Like Me, her YA debut novel released in April 2012. Her short story, The Almost Assassin, a prequel to A Spy Like Me is free on Amazon. How To Survive Ancient Spells and Crazy Kings, her debut middle grade will be released in November from Pugalicious Press. Visit her blog and say hello!

Johnny Depp, Chocolate chip cookies, and Me.

Hey, Laura here. I have a confession, and I’m just going to come right out with it: I love spies...and Johnny Depp.

                                             

I mean I don’t really love him because I don’t know him. But I love who he is as an actor. (Okay, plus he’s kinda cute and sexy all rolled into one.) (And don’t worry Castle, you’re my TV crush. Johnny’s my movie crush. So no fighting, you two!)

I don’t want to know anything about his real life because I don’t want to hear that he does horrible things or that he doesn’t like homemade chocolate chip cookies just from the oven with the chips all melty and yummy because then my image will be forever shattered. Now if he likes to frolic in the fields with cute fluffy bunnies and help orphans, I don’t mind hearing that.

                                                 

I was reading a bit on my friend, Johnny, and noticed that his career didn’t really take off until he paired with Tim Burton in Edward Scissorhands. (Which by the way I loved!) I love that Depp is known for his quirky, artistic movies.

And, of course, when he’s in slightly different movies, I’ll still watch.

What’s the point?

Sometimes we don’t succeed at the things we try. At first. It might be that we just haven’t found our niche yet. Or that we’re trying to do something for the wrong reasons.

Like trying to fit in with the group of popular and wealthy playground moms when our next best friend could be dropping off her child at afternoon Kindergarten and we just haven’t met yet. Yes, sometimes the whole middle school thing carries over into adulthood. The mean girls often turn into the snobby moms. It’s a vicious cycle.

Or maybe a high school girl desperately tries to be a cheerleader when that’s not her gifting or path - she just thinks it is. Or she feels that instant popularity will bring happiness, which we might learn the hard way that it doesn't.

Kid, teen, adult, when we look at who we are and accept ourselves we can then move forward with confidence. As a writer. As a mom. As a spy. As a teen. As an athlete. As an artist. As a pirate. As a lover of warm chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven.


                                                

 Be like Johnny. Embrace you. Embrace all the quirks and weirdness - or the complete normalness. And be happy.

  Are there any movies, actors or T.V. shows that speak to you? Make you fall in love?

Laura Pauling writes about spies, murder and mystery! Head on over and leave a comment on her blog to win an ebook of A Spy Like Me. There could be more than one winner!

Or find A Spy Like Me on Amazon - Barnes and Noble - Smashwords