Every February I can't help but think back on old crushes and first loves. Those loves that caused the most joy and the most pain.I could never forget Patrick, who stole my heart in second grade. His blonde curly hair and blue eyes, made him the perfect match for me, a blonde headed, blue eyed girl. We even got to walk home together. He lived just up the street. He never knew I liked him. There was no way I would have ever told him. That would have been too embarrassing. And guess what? I saw him just the other day at a book signing. And you know what? He's an author, too.....
The horribly terrible and yet most lovely thing about it all was that he lived near me and attended the same church, so, not only did I see him every day of the week at school, but on weekends, too.
But honestly, the worst part was that the most beautiful girl also lived near us and went to church with us. I never had a chance, really. But, I never let the dream die. Even when they got together, the two most beautiful people in my world, I had a hard time swallowing it. Surely one day he'd see the error of his ways. He never did. He just got more luscious and more amazing, while I kept on wishing. He did occasionally talk to me, but in truth, I was on a completely different level socially than he was. I was on the bottom rung, while he stood on the top. Yep, I still have neck problems from looking up at him. I have seen him since I moved away. I saw him at Lagoon, an amusement park in Utah a few years ago.
We're forty now and guess what? My heart jumped.
Do first crushes and loves ever die?
Who was your first crush and have you seen him lately?
One crush (love) of mine will never die. He appears in the most beautiful and tragic parts of my stories over and over. Sadly, I'll never see him again in this lifetime unless it's in my photos, dreams or memories. Coincidentally, I just posted about him on Dear Teen Me. He's been haunting me lately, but I don't mind one bit. <3
ReplyDeleteI remember falling like that. Infatuation. Disillusionment. I wonder what those fanatic kind of crushes really are, especially when we don't know the person real well. But regardless, they happen and they do cause strange reactions in the body!
ReplyDeleteI cracked up at the fact that you still have neck problems from looking up at him!
Ah yes... I remember my first high school crush in particular, but only because I was so dumb. There was this cute guy in band - he wasn't hot, more like baby faced - and he was really sweet and for some reason a lot of pretty, non-band girls hung around with him. I pined over him for about 6 months before someone finally clued me in that he didn't play on the "right team." So happily, that first crush is dead and buried. :)
ReplyDeleteAhh, the sweet torment of a crush. I had one BAD for the captain of the football/baseball/basketball team in H.S. and acted like an idiot around him. Still embarrassed by my behavior, to this day I make sure to stay on the opposite side of the room at our class reunions. Argh!
ReplyDeleteMy first two major crushes were with my brother's (older) friends. And the second one lasted for awhile - pretty much all through high school. I thought I couldn't bare to not be around him. Until he moved away. I met him once years later on the train and realized that's all it was - a silly schoolgirl crush.
ReplyDeleteI don't really think back to many high school crushes, but man, that first real love? The guy in college that I thought was THE ONE? He broke my heart into pieces, and it took me ages to get over it. I know that if I saw him now, my heart would definitely jump, then probably break all over again. No matter what new loves come into our lives, there are some that linger forever.
ReplyDeleteCrushes, huh? I think I've had more crushes on fictional boys than real ones (*swoon* book boys *swoon*), but three *real* boys do come to my mind. In elementary school, I lived next to and hung out with this boy all the time. It was sweet and innocent! I liked him but I think I was still too young to realize it was a crush. He moved away though and I haven't seen him since then. My middle school crushed lasted just a summer with boy from my youth group. He was adorable and goofy, but then he started dating my friend and it got weird. I ran into him several months back and learned he had joined the military (bit of a shock quite honestly) and was getting married soon. We talked for a while and it was good to see him again. (I still find notebooks with his initials scribbled on them though.) My third crush happened in high school to a cute nerdy boy who was in theatre with me. I'd never fallen so hard for a guy before in my entire life! My junior year was an emotional roller coaster of mixed feelings and unspoken crushing. I was sure he was the one...and guess what? He liked me as much as I liked him! We've now been together for almost eight years.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing about being an author is making those crushes characters. The what if? Avery and Ben are definitely real people that I've crushed on and thought I was in love with!
ReplyDeleteI have not seen my high school crush (and boyfriend) for over 20 years. I think it would be weird seeing him again after all these years.
ReplyDeleteAh, such sweet stories :) I saw my first crush again after 10 years and yes, my heart jumped. Then practicality surfaced. But, it was fun to dream for a bit again.
ReplyDelete....dhole
HAHA OMG I love this. I remember my fist serious teen crush too. Feeling completely inadequate and watching him with his popular and drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend. Seriously, they made me want to puke. LOL thanks for the trip down memory lane:)
ReplyDeleteI had a crush from 13- 17 on a girl in my school. I met her again at 22 and knew I wanted to marry her. I gathered the courage and wanted to do it but I got caught with a work task and moved on in life. We both moved on and married with children and 19 yrs later I have caught up with her and find I still love her. My instincts were right and she was the one for me. She is now divorced and my marriage is flat no matter how hard I try. Its a real crap situation.
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