(Magan circa her first pregnancy 2010 with authors Claudia Gray, Kiersten White, and Sophie Jordan)
When I decided to go the indie route I was completely delusional. No joke I thought I'd put up my first alien book and be the next Amanda Hocking. It didn't exactly go that way and I went through some stages of grieft.
1.) I suck
That's the first thing that went through my head. No wonder my books wont sell, I'm a terrible writer, blah blah blah. But I had a supporter group of writer friends that pushed me to keep going.
2.) Everyone else sucks
This is where it got really sticky. I put out a ton of money for ads, new covers, all this other stuff and my books didn't sell. So I started attacking other others. "How does her book sell so well? IT SUCKS!" It wasn't one of my finest moments and it just made me angry and not fun to be around.
3.) Maybe I'll try something else?
I think this was my turning point. This was the moment I decided to put out My Paper Heart on a wing and a prayer. I thought maybe it would be nice to at least have another book on my shelf and then the sales blew me out of the water. The fans of the original alien books weren't as excited about a New Adult contemporary, but from it I found a whole new crop of fans.
4.) OMG this other Indie author is awesome, buy her books!
I'm going to have to give it up to Chelsea Cameron on this one. I approached her about being critique partners and that was when I got a sneak peak of My Favorite Mistake. I was blown away by her writing and wanted everyone and their mom to read her book. She probably just made the NY times best seller list because I wouldn't shut up about her. (Actually she wrote an awesome book that's how she made it).
Yeah, it looks that simple when I write it in these four steps, but there was a lot of heartache before I came full circle. There are still days that I wonder if it's worth it to keep writing. Those are the days that I go to my Twitter or check my fan emails from people that say they love my series. I may not be one of the self-pubbers with a six figure deal or hitting the New York Times best seller list, but at this point I'm super exciting for those that have.
Maybe someday I'll get there, but for now I'm going to keep writing and keep being a cheerleader for all my self-pub brothers and sisters. We can only hold on to so many grudges for so long and there is no reason to be angry at someone for doing well. If I fall back down, I know my fans are there to help me back up again.
Have you come full circle as a writer or an author? What are your set backs?
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Magan Vernon is a Young Adult and New Adult writer who lives with her family in the insurance capital of the world. She is in a very serious, fake relationship with Adam Lambert and constantly asks her husband to wear guyliner. He still refuses. She also believes her husband is secretly an alien, disguised as a southern gentleman. You can find her online on her blog or purchase her books through Amazon or Barnes and Noble. She also blogs and talks about randomness here.
Keep on hustling Magan, I have no doubt your time on the NYT bestsellers list will be soon!
ReplyDeleteWe all have those "Why bother?" moments and the only way I combat them, is to keep writing. Whether it's writing the next book, blog or Tweet, I just keep moving forward.
Even authors who are traditionally published have these same anxieties. It's all about sales and if they don't bring in the big bucks, the last run could be their last! We are not alone, though it feels that way sometimes.
Aw thanks Rachel! It's not like I expect to be on the NYT bestseller list, but you know if it happens then free alien love for everyone!
DeleteI see many, many authors of many different publishing routes come full circle like this and go and up and down the emotional rollercoaster. I really think for many that's what the creative life brings.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we have to branch out and try something new!
It definitely is a roller coaster! Sometimes you scream, sometimes you cry, and sometimes you imagine pushing the person off who is ahead of you in line.
DeleteI keep circling the whole dang circle over and over again. It's making me dizzy. ;)
ReplyDeleteSometimes dizzy is good. If Hemingway can write drunk, you can write dizzy.
DeleteThis is very inspiring to the aspiring author within me :)
ReplyDeleteGlad I can inspire instead of just talk about Adam Lambert
DeleteI have not come full circle. I hope to soon :) It is going to be hard, and I do the same thing - ask myself everyday it it's worth it. What it really comes down to is, do I love writing? Yes. Would I stop writing if I never got published? Probably not. I love it too much. It makes me happy. As long as I keep those things front and center, I can't lose. I'm sure there will be frustrations in the beginning, middle, end, and everywhere in between, but I'll keep telling myself why I write in the first place - it makes me happy!
ReplyDeleteVery honest and inspiring post. Thanks!
I contemplated on not writing all together. After this last alien book was out I was going to be done with the Indie world, but you know in the words of Miley Cyrus "There's always going to be another mountain." I knew I had to keep going. Keep chugging along :)
DeleteFirst, I <3 you and Chelsea very, very much. You both know that.
ReplyDeleteI think this full circle is going to happen several times. As writers, we're bound to have ups and downs, and more ups and downs. Things will look great one second, then like shit the next. It comes with the profession ;)
Some days I feel like it's a marathon. Some will finish before you, some will lap you, but in the end you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize.
DeleteGlad to hear that I'm not the only one going in circles!
ReplyDeleteDon't give up. I tell myself that as long as I like to write, I should keep doing it. And by continuing to do so, I should suck less. :-)
Hooray for sucking less! I shoudl say sometimes the circle does go back and I doubt myself, but eventually it picks back up again.
DeleteI think I have come full circle as a writer. Although I'm sure there will be more twists and turns in my path to being a writer.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the twists and turns ever stop!
DeleteThis was exactly the type of post I needed to read today! Thanks for making my day just a bit better with your words. =)
ReplyDelete-C.M.
We're definitely here to pick you back up sweetie! Your books are great and I hope you never stop writing and publishing. As for the twists and turns, I just do my best to enjoy the ride.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people go into self-publishing thinking (even secretly) they're going to be the next Amanda Hocking. What they don't realize is it takes a whole lot of time, effort, and hard work. I knew it would be difficult, but I had no idea just how difficult. It can also be really rewarding if you have the patience. I wouldn't say I've come full circle quite yet, BUT I did change genres, and I thought that might hurt me but it's actually been amazing sales-wise. That's the beauty of self-publishing - we're the bosses, we call the shots, we decide what we want to do, whether it's pricing, marketing, genre-switching, whatever. And I love your support for indies - we need to stick together! :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't like the "try something else" moments--especially the kind that make me actually consider quitting writing. Feels so yuck. Then again, that feeling eventually gets me motivated because I can't stop writing. Thanks for this post Magan --it's always helpful to know I'm not alone. :)
ReplyDelete